Don't Know What You Got - Spicy Thai Seafood Stew...

Growing up in a culturally diverse place like Orange County (CA), one starts to take for granted the markets in Little Saigon and Koreatown, which are always brimming with fresh, if not live, seafood. One tends to forget what an incredible deal it is to find live Dungeness crab on sale for $3.99/lb or live Maine lobster for $8.99/lb. One forgets how hard it is generally to find fresh, live, seafood until one moves to a place in the desert where a lot of one kind of people move to escape from all the alien people of other kinds who eat weird things like fresh seafood. And also to find parking spaces big enough for their VERYBIG trucks.

For the time being, I live in just such a place.  And between the big box chains, a single Trader Joe’s and the Wednesday so-called farmer’s market, the only live fish I’m likely to find is swimming in a guppy bowl at Petco. And since I don’t eat those, I am SOL for fresh seafood during the week.

But on the weekends, we make the 90 minute drive to visit my parents in OC, and when we make a grocery run, I feel like a kid in a candy store perusing all the produce, spices, condiments and proteins - especially the ones from the sea – that I’ll never find at the Ralph’s or Super Walmart down the street.

Truth is, even if I still lived in OC, I wouldn’t buy the crab and lobster all that often. In my own quirky logic, I think there is a discipline to being easily pleased. And that such discipline is practiced in part by making an occasion of indulgence and a habit of restraint, even when it comes to the food about which I am so passionate. But occasions do arise, like Mother’s Day a couple weeks ago, and there seemed no better time to indulge in some seafood so fresh it was still breathing, crawling and pinching.

My mom had bought some baguettes from the boulangerie earlier in the morning, so a rich broth in which to dunk that crusty bread was definitely in order. I made a tom yum inspired soup as a base so I could ladle off a bowl for Joey, who loves tom yum but hates seafood (hopefully this is a temporary malfunction of an otherwise well developing young palate), and steamed the goods in the broth, making this Spicy Thai Seafood Stew.

I also made some Spicy Basil Fried Rice with Shrimp but forgot to take measurements. Oops.

SPICY THAI SEAFOOD STEW

For 4 adults, I used:

- 1 whole Dungeness crab, shelled and quartered for fast steaming

- 4 very large Cherrystone clams – Wash your clams well.  Sand in your food sucks bivalves.

- 16 medium sized Manila clams

- 2 pounds of crawfish (live ones are in season now, but a pound of good sized shrimp will work even better now that I think about it)

  

- 1 Tablespoon butter

- 1 teaspoon oil

- 1/2 cup chopped shallots (6 or 7)

- 1 garlic clove, smashed

- 6 or 7 thin slices of fresh ginger

- 2 or 3 Thai bird chilies, in 1/4-inch slices (or more if you like it XXX spicy like I do :))) )

- 2 to 3 stalks lemon grass pounded to release the oils and cut in 2 inch segments (If you can’t find lemongrass, a teaspoon of lime or lemon zest will work in a pinch.  Not quite the same, but a good approximation.)

- 6 or 7 stems cilantro, chopped in 1-inch pieces

- 1/2 teaspoon curry powder

- 4 cups unsalted chicken stock

- 2 tablespoons fish sauce

- 1 teaspoon sugar

- 2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lime juice

- 1 cup coconut milk

1) In a large pot, sautee shallots in butter and oil over medium high heat until they become translucent and some bits are golden brown.

2) Add in garlic, ginger, chilies, lemon grass, cilantro and curry powder, and sautee another 2 minutes or so to give those elements a roasted flavor.

3) Add in chicken stock, fish sauce, sugar, lime juice and coconut milk, and bring to a gentle boil. Then turn heat down to medium and simmer for about 5 minutes. At this point, the broth is ready to serve as a soup.

4) Add seafood, turn heat back up to medium high, and cover to steam, about 15 minutes, depending on what you're steaming and how much.  

When your clams are open, and the shellfish have just turned a bright red/orange color, you are good to go. Protein from the sea usually cooks very quickly and can go from tasty to rubber in no time.

Everything I photograph in my mom's kitchen looks
sooooo ORANGE.
And no, I don't want to Photoshop it. :)

You may find that you need to adjust the broth for the natural salt that will come from your seafood.  If so, try adding 1/4 cup of water and a pinch of sugar to mellow out the salt.

Serve with some crusty bread or some steamed jasmine rice or the fried rice I don't have a recipe for:  

Off to make tonight’s empanadas. :)

shinae

DEEPLY FRIED - Lemon Vanilla Fritters With Fresh Strawberry Jam

Living in a desert clime since January, I’ve been enjoying the past few days of relative cool, some clouds and even a bit of rain in the mornings. While most people seem to perk up with the rays of the sun, I find there’s nothing like a little gray to give me pep. Maybe it’s because I’m a water sign (Fish) that the prospect of precipitation always gives me extra ambition for the day.

 
These days, while *working* from home (that’s what we’ll call it for now, my little pipe dream of making a modest living as a literal hermit turned virtual cooking teacher without flashing my white meat and/or being a vapid famewhore) extra ambition often means an extra experiment in the kitchen to see if I can make something delicious with whatever I’ve got on hand. When a rainy day coincides with the experiment, I find myself thinking about what I’d like to make for my kids with the hot chocolate they love to drink on just such a day.

So yesterday, I set out to make a deep-fried something sprinkled with powdered sugar and came up with these Lemon Vanilla Fritters using my Can't Bake For Shit mix (aka Bisquick). The fritters fry up quickly and taste like a lighter, crisper, fluffier miniature buttermilk bar with hints of lemon and vanilla. I purposely made them lightly sweet in anticipation of the powdered sugar dusting.

Deep fried delicious...

A quick strawberry jam from a handful of reject berries in the basket made a really delicious accompaniment, the leftovers to top a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream some day soon.

LEMON VANILLA FRITTERS WITH FRESH STRAWBERRY JAM

Makes about 20 two-bite fritters

It’s a good idea to make the strawberry jam first, as you don’t want to have to wait too long after the fritters are done to eat them.

Strawberry Jam

- 1 Cup sliced strawberries (5 to 6 medium)

- 1/3 Cup sugar

- 1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice

- 2 teaspoons water

- pinch of salt (a gentle shake’s worth)

1) Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan and cook over medium low heat for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. 

2) After 10 minutes, mash large strawberry bits with a fork. This will release more of the pectin from the fruit and help thicken the jam.

3) Simmer another 3 to 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the liquid is the consistency of thick syrup.

Fritters

- 2 Cups Bisquick

- 2 Tablespoons sugar

- 1 Tablespoon butter, melted

- 1 teaspoon finely chopped lemon zest (If  you don’t have a microplane or zester, just run your vegetable peeler over the lemon, removing 2 or 3 strips of the rind, and chop into fine pieces. Try to avoid getting the bitter pith (white part) with the rind.)

- 1/2 Cup + 1 Tablespoon milk

- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

- 2 Cups oil for frying (canola, vegetable or light olive work)

- Powdered sugar for dusting

1) Combine all dry ingredients (Bisquick, sugar and lemon zest) in a bowl and stir to incorporate.

2) Add wet ingredients (milk, vanilla extract and melted butter) and stir just enough times to incorporate all the dry ingredients with the wet.

3) Preheat the oil over a slightly higher than medium flame until a small piece of batter thrown in fries and bubbles gently.

4) Using two teaspoons (the ones you eat with, not the dainty little ones that came with your mother's china set), form a heaping teaspoon of batter into a football shaped fritter, and gently lay into oil, frying no more than 4 at a time. (After 3 or 4, you need to start flipping.) 

These should take about 1 minute per side to reach a golden brown color and ensure the batter is cooked all the way through. If they are browning too quickly (which they did with my first batch), turn the heat down a touch and wait a minute or two before frying again.

5) Rest fried fritters for 2 to 3 minutes on a double layer of paper towels to absorb oil and cool a bit.

6) Dust with powdered sugar and serve with strawberry jam.

frittery...

...goodness.

Oh, and coffee. NEVER. FORGET. COFFEEEEEEE...

shinae

Thit Heo Nuong is Vietnamese for...

..."GRILLED PIGS (is delicious)."

I am big on pig, so it’s a lucky thing I come from two cultures that make such good use of it. As with chicken, I don’t really care for the white meat parts. But since most of my fellow Americans seem to love the super sanitized, boneless, skinless, fatless, flavorless, can’t-tell-what-animal-it-comes-from cuts of meat I generally avoid, I eat my dark meat in good conscience, knowing that my habits bring with them a sort of equilibrium to the consumption of pig parts in the USA.

You could try making these Vietnamese Pork Chops with a leaner, whiter chop. But then you’d miss out on those delightfully charred and caramelized bits of pork fat that - when mixed with the sweet/savory/aromatic of the marinade and the nutty foil of steamed Jasmine rice - send you momentarily to a hog heaven nearly impossible with a skinny cut of pig.

So I’ll urge you not to dietize this recipe the first time you make it and to use fattier, darker, but thin-cut (no thicker than ½ an inch) pork, preferably with a bone attached. (Look for “pork loin chop”, “butt/shoulder steak”, “sirloin chop”, or you could even cut boneless “country style ribs” into ½ inch thick steaks for this recipe.)

I like to serve these with a Spring Green, Cucumber (I like Persian or hothouse) and Cilantro Salad dressed with a Lime and Sauteed Shallot vinaigrette which uses a couple of tablespoons of the pork chop marinade as a base.

VIETNAMESE PORK CHOPS (THIT HEO NUONG) 
(tiht HEYo noohng)

Serves 6

- roughly 3 pounds bone-in (or at least darkmeat) pork chops or steaks

- 1/4 cup fish sauce (Tiparos is a widely available brand that I’ve seen in the Asian foods aisle of major chain groceries)

- 1/4 cup + 2 Tablespoons packed brown sugar

- 1 Tablespoon minced garlic

- 1 green onion, finely chopped

- 1 teaspoon lime zest, finely chopped

- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper

- 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice

- 1+1/2 Tablespoons water (Why not just less fish sauce? Because water dilutes and rounds out the mild bitterness/ saltiness of the fish sauce.)

- 2 tablespoons oil (something neutral like canola or vegetable)

1) Mix all marinade ingredients together in a small mixing bowl and stir until brown sugar is completely dissolved. If you’re going to make the salad dressing (instructions to follow), reserve 2 tablespoons of marinade in separate bowl.

2) Work marinade into chops and let marinate for at least 45 minutes, up to 2 hours, redistributing the meat 2 or 3 times to ensure even seasoning.

3) Bring chops to room temp (at least 30 minutes out of the fridge) and pre-heat grill to medium high. (Make sure the grill is hot enough to make the meat sizzle as it hits the grill. If you place the chops on the grill before it’s hot enough, they won’t sear properly and will slowly leach out all their juices by time they’re done. :( )

These really are monster chops.
I usually get smaller ones.

4) Grill each chop 7 to 10 minutes per side, depending on size and thickness, flipping once only, until juices run clear. If the meat is still sticking to the grill when you try to flip it, it’s probably not done on that side yet.

You may think those charred edges of fat are too burnt to eat, but the flavor and texture of that crisped and caramelized fat with the meat are a thing to be experienced...

5) Serve with steamed jasmine rice and salad if you’re so inclined.

SPRING GREENS, CUCUMBER & CILANTRO SALAD WITH LIME & SAUTEED SHALLOT VINAIGRETTE

I chose this selection of greens because they go well with Vietnamese dishes, and the added layer of aromatic flavor that comes from sautéing the shallots always gets thumbs ups.

- Spring Greens

- 1 Persian or Pickling Cucumber, sliced into thin discs

- 6 or 7 sprigs’ worth of cilantro leaves (you could just chop the sprigs, but the leaves picked off make a prettier presentation)

Awww... Will ya look at all those
adorable little cilantro leaves.

- 2 Tablespoons Vietnamese Pork Chop marinade

- 1 Tablespoon seasoned rice vinegar

- 2 Tablespoons thinly sliced shallot, sautéed in 1 teaspoon oil

- 1/2 Tablespoon brown sugar

- 1 Tablespoon fresh squeezed lime juice

- 1 Tablespoon oil with neutral flavor

Combine all ingredients in small mixing bowl and stir or whisk until brown sugar is completely dissolved. This should easily dress an entire standard 8 or 9 oz. package of salad greens with a few other veggies tossed in.

Hope you like. :)

shinae 

DUDE FOOD (again) - Pulled Pork With Strawberry Chipotle Sauce

Seeing as I just wrote a Dude Food post, I was going to hold off on this recipe until sometime next week or so. But a couple of my Facebook friends requested it off of this album, and, well, we all know comments, feedback, and requests especially, are like rainbow crack sprinkles to a foodblogger…

The sweet-tangy flavor profile in this recipe and the chicken wing recipe I just posted falls into what I like to call the cheat flavor pile. Some other flavors that fall into this pile are bacon, butter, brown sugar and chocolate. The reason I call them cheat flavors is that they’re so broadly appealing that you almost feel like you’re getting away with something when you use them and people say your food tastes good. Like half your job as a cook was done for you the moment you decided to mix something sweet with something tangy. Like the sweet was Milli and the tangy Vanilli… You know what I mean.

But, whatever way you shred it, this dish is easy, inexpensive, and tasty. And with the meatiness of the pork and smokiness of the chipotle sauce, it’s a shoo-in for Dude Food Installation #2.

A little sweet, slightly tangy,
and fairly schmokayyyyy...

PULLED PORK WITH STRAWBERRY CHIPOTLE SAUCE

Serves 6 – 8 depending on who’s eating, but the recipe can easily be halved without sacrificing flavor.  A 2 pound butt would be cut in half and cooktime would remain the same.

- 3.5 to 4 pound pork shoulder/butt (Get a well marbled piece – the fat will keep the meat moist during cooking, and what’s left can easily be removed during the shredding process.)

Rub

While I usually prefer fresh garlic and onion, there are a few instances where dry is better. BBQ rubs, sauces and marinades often benefit from dry garlic especially because fresh garlic tends to burn quickly and taste very bitter.

- 1 Tablespoon granulated garlic

- 1 Tablespoon granulated onion

- 1 Tablespoon paprika

- 1 Tablespoon sugar

- 1 Tablespoon black pepper

- 1 Tablespoon salt

  

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and stir to incorporate evenly.

Sauce

This recipe calls for shallots, and the distinct flavor of shallots really does make a difference. But if they’re not handy, red or brown onions can substitute in a pinch. You might have to add a pinch of salt or so to adjust for the water content of the onions.

- 1/2 cup white vinegar

- 1/2 cup strawberry jam

- 2 Tablespoons brown sugar

- 1 Tablespoon oil

- 2/3 cup thinly sliced shallots (8 to 10)

- 1 tsp salt

- 1 tsp rub

- 1 tsp chipotle powder

Roasting the pork…

1) Cut the pork butt into 4 equal pieces and season well and evenly with the rub mixture, literally giving each side a few good rubs to work in the seasoning. (This should use up a little more than half the total rub.)

2) While the meat is absorbing the seasoning and coming up to room temperature (at least 30 minutes out of the fridge), preheat the oven to 425 and make the sauce. (Directions to follow.)

3) Roast the pork in a single layer in an oven safe dish for 25 minutes at 425, flipping the meat halfway through. This high temperature will sear the outside and help keep the juices in for the rest of the roasting time.

4) Reduce the oven to 375 and roast another 60 to 80 minutes, flipping the meat about halfway through, until the pork shreds easily with a fork FROM EACH PIECE. The variance in time is due to variations in texture, density, fat content of the meat and the temperature of the meat as it goes into the oven.

5) Remove pork from the oven and pull apart into large chunks using two large forks and pulling in opposite directions.  Doing this will help the cooling process.  Allow the meat to cool 10 minutes or so before shredding (unless you have asbestos kitchen hands and want to tear into the task right away).

6) Shred the pork and dress with warm sauce. The pork and sauce will have cooled to room temperature by the time you finish shredding, and you want both components warm when you dress the meat so it can soak up the flavors that much better. You can microwave the meat for a minute or so and reheat the sauce on the stove on medium heat, which should take no more than 2-3 minutes.

Making the sauce…

- 1/2 cup distilled white vinegar

- 1/2 cup strawberry jam

- 2 Tablespoons brown sugar

- 1 Tablespoon oil

- 2/3 cup thinly sliced shallots (8 to 10)

- 1 teaspoon salt

- 1 teaspoon rub

- 1 teaspoon chipotle powder

1) Heat 1 tablespoon oil to medium high in a small pot or saucepan and sautee the shallots until they are translucent and about half of them are golden brown.

2) Lower heat to medium and add jam and brown sugar and stir until sugar is completely dissolved.

3) Stir in vinegar, salt, rub and chipotle powder and simmer another 2 to 3 minutes.  Sauce will likely cool before you’re done shredding the pork.  Reheat for 2 or 3 minutes over medium flame before dressing the pork.

This pork is super tasty with a side of coleslaw or potato salad, and leftovers make easy sandwiches on burger buns with coleslaw and/or dill pickle chips (and a slather of mayo, if you're like me).

shinae

DUDE FOOD - Sticky, Tangy, Spicy Chicken Wings & Crunchy Soy Slaw

Since the beginning of this year, I have been cooking at least a couple times a week for 3 big, tall boys of Midwestern stock, the Man included. While the Man and I have fairly adventurous palates, our regular dinner companions are, by their own admission, far less likely to try more exotic cuisines and dishes such as those that aren’t pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, lasagna, ribs, meatloaf, gringo Mexican and guai lo Chinese.

And while I like to mix it up from meal to meal, every cook knows the pang of apologetic disappointment you get when your dinner guests don’t enjoy their food, no matter how well executed, because their palates are revolting to being dragged out of their comfort zones. (Not that I haven’t made some duds in my day, mind you…)

Despite some regional variation, there is a common thread that runs through Dude Food - it’s gotta have meat and/or grease (preferably both), it can’t have fresh produce in it, and it has to appeal to the tastebuds of a 5th grade boy. I consider it a specially good day in the kitchen when I make a successful Dude Dish while managing to sneak in a little something else that’s fresh, healthy, and surprisingly delicious to unsuspecting manpalates. 

These Sticky, Tangy, Spicy Wings paired with some Crunchy Soy Slaw (and served with steamed rice) are a good way to sneak roughage into the gullet of even the uberpickiest dudes while still giving them their Dude Food fix.

Schticky, Tangy, & as Spicy as you like...

FYI, casual as chicken wings are, this is not a good weeknight dinner for those who work away from home as it takes anywhere from 1.5 to 2 hours to make it.

STICKY, TANGY, SPICY WINGS

Serves 5-6 as part of a meal with a starch and vegetable side

- 12 wings cut into 24 drummettes and wingettes (Yes, that’s what they’re called.  I looked it up.)

- Salt & Pepper

- 2 cups oil for frying (I prefer canola or vegetable)

- 1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon brown sugar

- 1/4 cup jam (I used peach, but strawberry, apricot, or marmalade would work)

- 1/8 cup + 1 tablespoon soy sauce

- 1/2 cup finely chopped shallots

- 2 Tablespoons sriracha

- 2 Tablespoons red wine vinegar

- 3 Tablespoons minced garlic

- 1 Tablespoons oil

- Red chili flakes for extra heat *optional (If you think you don't have this stuff on hand, don't forget to check that fast food/delivery condiment stash in your drawer or fridge. You probably got some with your last pizza delivery.)

- 1 or 2 green onions, chopped, for garnish and flavor

Chicken Steps

1) Season chicken with salt and pepper to taste and let it come up to room temp before frying. While the chicken is absorbing the seasoning and coming up to room temp (at least a good 30 minutes), make the glaze. If you’re making the full menu, this is also a good time to prep the cabbage for the slaw.

2) Heat 2 cups oil in large pot (I like to use a deep pot like a Dutch oven so oil doesn’t fly all over the stove.) over medium-high heat until it’s hot enough that a pinch of flour will sizzle and bubble when you throw it in.  Food should sizzle when you’re frying, and if it doesn’t sizzle as soon as it hits the oil, take it out and wait a couple more minutes.

3) Pat the chicken dry and fry 4 or 5 pieces at a time, keeping drumettes and wingettes in separate batches.  Drumettes should be fried on 3 sides, 3.5 to 4 minutes each side.  Wingettes should be fried on 2 sides, 5 to 7 minutes each side. (Until they get a dark golden brown.) Place fried chicken on a double layer of paper towels or a large paper grocery bag to absorb the excess frying oil.

4) When you’re halfway through the frying, preheat the oven to 425.  You’ll want to reheat and crisp up the chicken a bit right before glazing.

5) 10 minutes before serving, re-heat the chicken in an oven safe dish, IN A SINGLE LAYER, for 10 minutes. Metal is better than glass in this case.

6) After re-heating, put chicken into a large mixing bowl and pour the glaze over. Toss or stir to coat and transfer to serving dish. Sprinkle chopped green onions right before serving.

Glaze Steps

1) In a small pot, heat 1 tablespoon oil on medium high and sautee shallots until they’re translucent and some bits are golden brown.

2) Add brown sugar and jam and stir until brown sugar is melted through.

3) Bring heat down to medium low and stir in soy sauce, sriracha and vinegar until all ingredients are well mixed.  Simmer for 2 to 3 minutes. This is a good time to taste for spice level.  If you want more heat, add a pinch or 2 of red chili flakes.

4) Add in garlic and simmer another 2 to 3 minutes until the glaze is the consistency of thick syrup.

5) Let glaze cool to room temperature before glazing the chicken.

CRUNCHY SOY SLAW

Serves 6

Giving the cabbage a quick toss with a cup of ice water makes it extra crunchy. Just remember to drain it well (and even pat it dry with a clean kitchen towel) before dressing.

- 6 cups very thinly sliced cabbage (about 1/2 a medium head)

- 1 or 2 green onions, chopped (including white part)

- 7 to 10 stems cilantro, chopped

- 1/2 Tablespoon minced garlic (a very small clove)

- 1+1/2 Tablespoons sugar

- 1+1/2 Tablespoons red wine vinegar

- 2 Tablespoons soy sauce

- 1 Tablespoons oil (canola or light olive, not EVOO)

Combine all ingredients in large mixing bowl and toss thoroughly until seasoning is evenly distributed through cabbage.

By the way, a frosty cold lager goes great with this meal.

Now if I could just get them white boys to stop drowning their rice in soy sauce...

shinae


P.S. The Man will have you know he is *NOT* the guai lo who drowns his rice in soy sauce.

From Stock Market To Stock Pots...

I was born in 1973, year of the ox. Oxen folk are supposed to possess the steadfast, workhorse, practical nature of this tireless beast of burden.  And, being a water ox, I'm supposedly more flexible, adaptable and affable than my wood, fire or earth counterparts. Predictable or coincidental, the general characterizations of my sign suit me quite well. I've always loved to work, I like to think I'm pretty friendly, and changes in plan and scenery hardly phase me. (And yes, I can be quite stubborn as well.)

But if any of these attributes suits me to a tee, for good and for bad, it is that I am a practical kind of gal. So practical that it hurts sometimes.  So practical that I strongly dislike holidays, carnivals and parades. So practical as to make me wonder if I didn't spend some part of another life in the Great Depression or the Great Potato Famine (and just what makes these things *great*, anyway???)...

Parmesan Polenta W. Roasted Pork Ragu &
Fresh Mozzarella - $2.50/serving 

And when I say practical, I don't mean that high-rolling, free-wheeling, spend-thrifting practicality of the past two decades when people bought 8 seat, 40-gallon Suburbans because it was *impractical* for a family of 4 to have to squeeze into a Camry the 6 days a week they don't have soccer practice. Not the kind of practicality that tells a girl she has more credit limit than hours in her day, so she would be wiser to drop 25 bucks every 4 weeks to have someone else push back her cuticles and shellac her nails than do it herself while she watches American Idol. And definitely not the kind of practicality that tells someone it makes more sense to fatten the coffers of Starbucks by paying 2 dollars every morning for a cup of the best or the worst coffee ever (depending on who you ask) instead of brewing their own for odd change...

I'm talking the kind of middle class practicality that was the order of the day before not-so-cheap but easy credit hijacked our sense of proportion and frugality to the point that we've overextended ourselves individually, and as a nation, and turned our micro and macro finances upside down. The kind of practicality that told us it's OK to feed our toddlers a bit of our 15 dollar entrees instead of buying them a 7 dollar kid's meal they weren't going to put a dent into. The kind of practicality that told us it's perfectly fine to tell our children that 200 dollars is a LOT of money to spend on that DS and that if they were so lucky to get that DS for their birthday, it would be the ONLY thing they get.  The kind of practicality that reminded us that certain things in life should be considered privileges no matter how our sense of indulgence (and the banks) want us to consider them rights.

Caldo de Pollo - $1.25/serving

Living in the consumer capital known as Irvine within the consumer capital known as the OC within the consumer capital known as the US during the 90s and early 2000s often left me feeling a fish out of water, trying to reconcile my innate sense of old-school practicality to my relationships with not so similarly practical people - other middle class people who tipped 40% on their dinner bills, couldn't sleep on low threadcount sheets, bristled at the mere idea of using coupons and would rather die than admit that something, anything, was beyond their middle class budgets. (That wasn't the only or even greatest cause of my dissatisfaction with my life at that time, but it certainly fueled my frequent sense of unbelonging.)

But there's a saying in Spanish that goes "No hay mal que por bien no venga." Literally, There is no bad from which good does not come. Seems the wild financial excess and oblivion of the past two decades have indirectly brought about a return to a healthier, less disdainful attitude toward frugality and practicality. If credit cards and credit lines at one point made us all but forget that we were living well beyond our means, the financial industry's kneejerk reactions to their own crap policies by way of sudden reductions in credit limit, cancellations of faithfully paid credit cards, and outright refusal to lend, have served to remind us that our de facto middle class dollars are pretty darned limited and should be spent humbly and wisely. 

Where credit momentarily allowed many of us the fantasy that we had more money than time, the credit debacle has forced us to deal with the reality that we are not rich folk. And that as not rich folk, it doesn't make much economic sense for us to pay other people, on a regular basis, to do what we can quite reasonably be expected to do for ourselves.

Antipasto Salad - $1.50/serving

And so despite the misfortune of this economic downturn, I find myself in a time and place that feels much more my element. I love that a bag of Trader Joe's Wild Japanese Scallops, some rice, some produce, a couple of bottles of Kirin and an hour's worth of elbow grease can turn out a really delicious Sushi and Ceviche date night for under 20 dollars. The fact that a 6 dollar chicken will make dinner for 4, feed the pup for 2 or 3 meals and give me 2 quarts of chicken stock excites me probably a little more than it should. And when nothing goes to waste, I feel I've put my sense of practicality to a good, humble and respectful use of the precious resources I share with my children, my neighbors and the world at large.

Cheap Date Night... :)

I realize cooking isn't everyone's idea of fun. Neither is dusting, doing the laundry, scooping dog poo, or washing the car. But of all the domestic activities borne of necessity, it has one of the highest rates of return. When, even in this tight economy, dinner for 4 at a crap chain like Applebee's can easily come to 60 dollars or more, and a really tasty meal for the same number of people could be made with 10 dollars' worth of fresh ingredients (and a lot less processed crud), it makes increasingly more sense to start cooking if you don't already, and to hone your skills further if you do. You might find the joy of wonton cooking far outweighs the thrill of wanton spending.

(GET IT??? Wonton cooking??? Wanton spending???? *sigh*... I kill myself...)

Who says cows don't have killer comic instincts...

shinae

Sugar Cookies, Facebook & Frenemies...

My daughter Maddi turned 10 last December, and she has a facebook account, set up by me (I set one up for her brother as well) so I can be a part of her online life.  Say what you will about how premature or unnecessary it is, but I like to think myself a realist. And reality is that my kids will grow up living a big chunk of their lives online. 

I want to participate as much as reasonably possible in that life, and I'm hoping that a low key and nonjudgmental presence on their friends lists will give me a glimpse into their perspectives on life, friendship, and, even if it's not always positive, their relationship with me.

This past weekend, Mads and I baked some colored sugar cookies together and enjoyed a really lovely afternoon relating, cooperating and eventually gobbling more than a few cookies together. As always, I took my pics with my usual fussing, angling, framing and whatnot, and when I was done, Mads asked me to log onto her facebook page to upload this pic to her profile:

Status: "Made sugar cookies with my mom.
Took over an hour!!!!! But they tasted great."

Luckily, she's still at an age when she has relatively few secrets and allows me free and easy access to her page.  There were a couple of new notifications, a few new friends from school and her father's side of the family, and a new PM (private message) from a (girl) friend from school.  And the message was one of those *She said, SHE said* exchanges having to do with a third girlfriend, my daughter apparently the rope in a tug-of-war between warring factions known as pre-teen frenemies.

As an almost 40 year old woman, I have spent most of my life forging an uneasy peace with the mere idea of female friendships for this very reason. I don't really understand what spiritual, biological or evolutionary function it serves, this desire to possess, manipulate, and ultimately control another human being in this way.  But it's fairly rampant among young girls across cultural and socio-economic lines and sadly doesn't seem to temper itself well with age. 

My initial reaction was to talk with Mads then and there - to tell her that this is not how good friendships are built, that some people are toxic in the way they relate with others and that as much as we should empathize for the unique life path that made them that way, the best we can do is to be outwardly empathic to that person and yet inwardly compassionate enough to protect ourselves from their bile...

But then I remembered there's a reason why I knew to bring the butter to room temp before mixing the cookie dough, to keep the dough refrigerated between baking batches, and to let the cookies cool momentarily before removing them from the baking sheet... Because years of experience taught me that a cold stick of butter doesn't incorporate very well into dry ingredients; but also that if the butter gets too warm while mixed into the cookie dough, the cookies will spread too much in the baking process; and finally that the cookies have a good chance of bending, warping, or just plain falling apart if you try to remove them too quickly just out of the oven. I screwed up a lot of recipes before I observed and understood for myself the nature of certain ingredients and processes.  And in some cases, that meant a lot of fucked up cookies before I finally turned out a good one.

And while it gives me indigestion to know that I can't spare my child from the angst, betrayal, loneliness and confusion she will suffer, and cause others to suffer, in her journey to define and cultivate the positive, enriching and fulfilling friendships I hope for her to have, I sit well with the knowledge that I eventually stopped fucking up the cookies. And that I now have a handful of truly good, decent, fabulous, positive and encouraging woman friends with whom to share them.

That's not to say we'll never have the talk. I'm thinking chocolate chip in a few weeks will be a good time to gauge what she makes of the situation and to remind her again that the butter needs to sit out for a while before we begin...

shinae