Me and my dad at my first wedding shower at my parents' house in Garden Grove. One of the last pics we took together (we weren't much of a picture taking family then) before Dad's health began to take a number of sharp wrong turns - some hereditary, some self inflicted.
I don't post many pics of him in the present because it breaks my heart to see how his body, and now lately his mind as well, are failing him. Even harder some days because it makes me sad and angry that so much of what he suffers today is a result of self abuse and neglect.
But looking back, I can tell that Dad fought a number of demons, not the least of which were growing up in poverty without a father during the Japanese occupation, and his great talent and potential being neglected for the tradition that put his older brother at the forefront of the family's attention and resources. Not to mention that damned addictive personality and physiology that fueled his excesses for too many years to undo.
Hot tempered and good natured at the same time, a lover of animals, and always driven to create (he built houses and aviaries and water fountains and fish ponds and outdoor decks with a Marlboro hanging out the side of his mouth the whole time), he gave me the gifts of a singing voice, a goofy sense of humor, a persevering sense of fairness and forgiveness, and, despite being a man of few words, many pearls of good and true wisdom that he knew were often beyond his own ability to live.
I wish Life had been kinder to Dad, but for all of what he perceived to be his failures and shortcomings, the things he did for his family ensured that Life was much kinder to me.
Happy Fathers' Day, Dad. I thank you, and I love you. ♥
shinae
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