ridiculous hungry: Back In Black - Day 45 (Wednesday) & Something About Forests & Trees...

Where does the time go?

I can't believe I'm already on my sixth monthly Cookalong on G+. This Sunday it's Ceviche de Camarón y Arroz con Pollo.

As you might know, I poke fun from time to time at hokey metaphysical stuff like The Secret, but you know I couldn't make fun of it if I hadn't watched it before... :P

Here's the thing, though. I did learn a few valuable lessons from that video, one of them being that if you focus on the desired end result rather than mire yourself in thinking about the logistics that will get you there, the process will present itself. That is to say, don't lose the forest for the trees. Or perhaps more accurately, don't lose yourself in the forest for the trees.

My very first post on this blog was written on February 17th, 2011. And at that point, alls I knew was that writing and cooking were much needed cheap therapy after having survived the most difficult five years of my life to that point, and finally settling into a new chapter with the man who every day is being and becoming The Love of My Life.

Wanting more than anything to emerge better and stronger from that experience, I found myself living in BFTemecula with Dean, nothing to do but cook, write, and be alone with the depth and expanse of my thoughts and emotions during the day while he was at work. And I would spend the next six months cooking and writing away all the residual pain, anger, and downright anguish of

- having lived a long, harrowing bout of what is commonly known as mental illness (but what I tend in hindsight to view more as a breakdown, and then thankfully eventually a breakthrough, of the psyche),

- losing just about everything I'd worked for for two decades in the process, then

- going through a nasty divorce in which I lost custody of my two older children and pretty much left behind all the people, places and things I'd come to know during that eleven year marriage. Well, except for the love of the people who matter, thank Goddess... :)

I wanted to heal, and the Universe put me in a place where the most logical and reasonable thing for me to do was heal. Where it would have taken considerably more effort to dwell in my bitterness than to avail myself of the easy therapy of more free time and solitude than I knew at first what to do with, the kitchen, the keyboard, and the love of a man who was ready to take me on, all things and issues considered.

And as I began to step out of my past, I could begin to look to the future, to rebuild yet another aspect of my life: my career. And having already tried my hand at performing music, being a corporate drone, and running my own business teaching cooking classes and personal cheffing, I knew I wanted to return in some capacity to the thing that has always brought me joy and comfort no matter the season of my life: food.

But this time, changed in so many ways by the preceding years, my consciousness awakened to a sense of purpose rather than just a paycheck, I determined that I wanted to devote this next stretch of career to sharing not only my love of food, but also my very personal approaches to cooking and eating. And having so determined, and seeking an effective way to do just that without sacrificing too much time away from my family, I was more than ripe for the suggestion by my friend Denise to give this G+ place a closer look as a platform to spread my own personal gospel of the benefits of making real, good, food with our own hands.

And so far, from sharing my daily morning ear worm, to writing blog length posts where I share recipes and vignettes of our daily lives Chez Robinson, to posting pics of all manner of things that make me smile, G+ has become the blend of the three things I have long wanted to be able to incorporate into my life's work: food, words, and music. Not to mention the very good and free attention it has brought to my efforts...

One year and eight months since that first post, and the doors continue to open for me. I figure my job is just to keep focused, keep working, keep being grateful and just not fuck it up. I have faith that the rest of the clearing through the forest will show itself to me somehow... :)

BREAKFAST

was more of those Strawberry, Dragon Fruit and Kiwi Smoothie-Shakes.